sexygeriatrics:

hipsterinatardis:

snowmercury:

hauntedpamplemousse:

orcasoup:

those moments when straight people assume you’re one of them and you feel like a gay secret agent

lesbionage

bi spy 

it’s an ace case

Secret gaygent.

hellominako:

sandandglass:

crispy-tacos:

flogicallylawless:

If Fox thinks that a Muslim can’t write a book about Christianity

would they agree that men can’t write legislation about women?

EVERYBODY FREEZE.

image

A+ gif usage

motherfuckingdragonsyo:

I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling

official-sebastian-strider:

arocketumbler:

NO. NO FUCKING SHRIMP OR HE DIE.

wHEEZESing

official-sebastian-strider:

arocketumbler:

NO. NO FUCKING SHRIMP OR HE DIE.

wHEEZESing

quasi-normalcy:

herotterness:

jaclcfrost:

in all my years that i have been on this earth i have not played spin the bottle once. does this mean that i’ve never actually lived? do a lot of people actually even play spin the bottle? or is its importance and prevalence stretched and exaggerated in media? these are the questions of the hour

Are teen parties with alcohol and red solo cups even real?!!?!

Has anyone ever participated in a food fight?!?

valaartogeiadoun:

daisydino:

shinys-mind-palace:

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS PICTURE FOR SO LONG

My mom just told me I was going to Hell for laughing at this

THEY SEE ME ROLLIN, THEY PRAYIN

valaartogeiadoun:

daisydino:

shinys-mind-palace:

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS PICTURE FOR SO LONG

My mom just told me I was going to Hell for laughing at this

THEY SEE ME ROLLIN, THEY PRAYIN

"have you considered that maybe i am not pleasant?

maybe i wear lipstick so that
you will see my pretty pink mouth
wrapping around a coffee cup lid
and be distracted enough not to notice
that i am intelligent and powerful;
a threat.

maybe i draw my brows into high arches
so you will look at my unimpressed skepticism
and overlook my spiteful glare
as a trick of my silly, girlish routine.

maybe i wear my heels so high and thin
so that i grasp your attention with the sway of my hips
as i listen to the click-clack-click against the floor
and know that if you should try to overpower me
i walk on sharpened knives.

maybe when i laugh at your worthless jokes
i am really baring my fangs
waiting patiently for the day
that i sink them into your neck.

i am not made of porcelain pleasantries;
you will find that these things are my armor
to keep you at a distance
so you do not step on me and shatter
my fragile control.

i am not a husk — i am not wilting.
i am turning my head
so that the fire blazing through my eyes
does not catch on the accelerant of your sweaty palms
and burn your bones to dust.

i am not your pretty girl;
i am a fury, a faerie, a phoenix —
a forest of werewolves and wendigos
that will carve out your chest
so that the next time i paint my pretty pink lips
i will taste the copper tang of your dying breaths."
R.K., I Am The Wolf Only Barely Contained (via jameskerk)

kobetyrant:

llttlemermaid:

The footage of former Ravens running back Ray Rice punching his then-fiancée in the face started a much-needed conversation about domestic violence. This comedian took a completely different approach with a “Ray Rice Inspired Makeup Tutorial” that could’ve gone so incredibly wrong but instead gets it so so right.

OHHHH MY GODDDD I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA DO BLACK FACE BUT IT TURNED OUT SO MUCH BETTER THAN I EXPECTED